I wasn’t aware. No one told me. And then the other morning, I read it in the obituaries. The murderous, unruly death of chivalry! My heart skipped a beat-- my hand almost let go of my vanilla latte. How in the world did this happen?! How come no one could stop this?!
DO NOT roll your eyes at me. Maybe I am being a little dramatic, but the message holds true. There is an epidemic, and it’s dangerous (especially for the safety of the ill-mannered young men who happen to run into me). Young men everywhere are forgetting how to be gentlemen. And I, so selflessly, am here to stop it.
This situation is particularly ironic here, at UC Berkeley. In class, many of these very men are absolute geniuses: bioengineers inventing prosthetics, brilliant mathematicians whose walls are made up of white boards, young philosophers delving into the purpose of life. They are impressive, discovering and creating incredible things just as undergrads. And yet, these same brilliant men seem to lack the basic intelligence that would lead them to open a door for a woman. Has adaptation fazed out common courtesy in our males? If you can recite to me the first 100 digits of Pi, but you cannot open the door for me? You should realize that, socially, you are screwed (or helplessly alone except for the companionship of your own hand.)
Not all men have forgotten chivalry. There are notable exceptions, like the men who offer their seat on a crowded bus to a woman, offer to help her carry that heavy bag she is so clearly struggling with; men who not only open the door for a woman, but actually wait to enter after her.
Now, if you are at all thinking,
“These rules no longer apply in an age where woman have gained rights (almost) equal to men.”
“Isn’t it sexist to assume a woman is 'weak,' and not able to carry her bags on her own?”
And to you, I will calmly and so carefully respond: “AS LONG AS WOMEN ARE CARRYING AND PUSHING OUT THE GODDAMN BABIES, THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS LIFT A FINGER AND OPEN THE F****** DOOR.” Capisce?
What may not be fully understood by the male population is that being a gentleman is one of the most attractive qualities a man can put on the table. The "bad boy," "attractive because he's an asshole," all men try to embody? Yeah, that's only attractive in high school. Women mature past that, and if you want to get with the women that are actually worth your time? I'd suggest adapting: become a gentleman. If not for women, for yourself. More impressive than the size of his biceps, the number of 30 racks he drank last night, or his ability to “pown” all opponents in Call of Duty, is his ability to forget about himself for a minute and act in a way that shows compassion. That shows genuine interest in the opposite sex.
So, boys, I am giving you this million dollar advice (or at least, finally getting a trophy girlfriend advice), free of charge. You're welcome.
When a woman walks by, open the friggin' door (and no, weak pushing-back-the-door-quickly as you speed through does not count).
If I woman is clearly struggling to carry something, offer to carry it. Chances are she will be too prideful to accept your help, but the gesture itself will be very much appreciated.
Open the woman’s car door when she is entering and exiting the vehicle. (Ladies: sit in the car until he walks around to open the door for you.)
And lastly, don’t you ever, even for a moment, think that it is okay to honk your horn on the driveway as an indicator you are ready for her to come outside. I’m really glad your horn works. Now that you’ve tested it out, can you please ring the doorbell?
The Woman Behind the Fitness Section:
Samantha Salis is a Psychology Major and Political Economy Minor at UC Berkeley. She is a dedicated young woman, ambitious and sharp as a whip. Our dear Samantha tutors high schoolers and works at a Psychology lab at UC Berkeley. Even with this busy schedule, Ms. Salis creates the time to divulge to us her passion about the fitness and health of women, and is (fortunately for us) very well informed on these topics. Enjoy!