Everyone likes to be in control of his or her own life. Our actions cause reactions, and since we control our actions, we become accustomed to the reactions we evoke in those around us.
The emotion of love, however, is different. We don’t control it, but on some level, it controls us. Everyone has heard the expression, “listen to your heart,” as I wrote about in my last article, and the reason that everyone is familiar with this expression is because the universe agrees that sometimes, our hearts know more than we do. Consider this scenario. Something inside of you is telling you to do something, but you don’t know why, so you wage an internal debate about whether or not you should do it for far too long, and then finally you just do it. Afterwards, you realize why, and you are SO glad you did. I believe love is just like that, and our souls are like that as well. Love, an emotion greater than each of us, transcends all human thought; it is what connects us to one another. I believe that when you fall in love, your soul lets another person in, and with that realization, comes great fear because in doing so, sharing your soul with another soul, the greatest form of love exists – and that, is scary.
But love doesn’t just evoke fear; it evokes great awe. I think people often confuse those two emotions. Is falling in love with another person scary because you know there is so much to lose? Or is it awe that you feel? Are you in awe of the level of emotion that you experience, of the complexity and vastness of the relationship that you are a part of? The sheer beauty and perfection of love itself can inspire both fear and inspiration in the most rational of human thoughts.
We humans aren’t entirely that great at comprehending things that are greater than us. We like to be able to wrap our minds around things, at least I do. I do things for a reason, I do things on purpose, I exercise every day, I eat well, I sleep enough, I stay healthy, I study so I can be comfortable in my classes. We do so many things every day, make so many choices with the intention of having the result of our choices be our own happiness, that it’s scary to think that after all of that, someone could say something or do something to you that could hurt you, and lay waste to all of your hard work. It’s scary enough to think that someone might touch your soul and leave a mark, but what’s even scarier is to think that they might touch your soul without your permission.
What’s scary about love is that it takes away some aspect of our freedom. There is something greater than us out there; some huge part of life, of yourself, and of your life that you are not in control of. You don’t get to pick whom you fall in love with, or when you fall in love with them, or how you fall in love with them. The universe is incomprehensible; life is a mystery, but you can choose to fight it, or dance with it, letting your life become a perfect, mysterious, joyful interplay of emotions, interactions, love, and the unknown.
And somehow, the revocation of complete control of our own hearts often leads to great liberation. Anyone that has ever been loved can attest to the fact that when you feel loved, you feel more capable, powerful, and often, limitless. This is because love opens the doors of our hearts; it gives us a freedom to love that is greater than any freedom we feel we have lost.
One of my favorite quotes by spiritual activist Marianne Williamson is: “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Love is what liberates us. Love makes us free. And by conjuring up this freedom within ourselves, we allow others to do the same. So don’t be afraid. Just love and be free :)
The Woman Behind the Monthly Words of Wisdom:
Lia Vosti is an undergraduate at Santa Clara University, majoring in Bioengineering. Growing up together, her words always made the most obscure situations crisp and clear. It is clear that she is the up and coming Renaissance woman, able to give homely advise after a day in the lab.