My name is Caroline Lewis, I am a super-senior at Cal (they just can't get rid of me!), and I am studying Integrative Biology with a minor in Creative Writing. Some might be thinking, "Why, those have absolutely nothing to do with each other" but I love writing fiction, it's my means of escape from the rigorous world of science. I especially love to incorporate humor into my writing; sometimes you have to search for it, but don't worry it's hidden in there somewhere! I hope you enjoy my work as much as I love creating it, and I look forward to working with this great group at Unleashed.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Page Turners: Real World Disney
Real World: Disney
Peter Pan, 23, from Never Land: Oh my God, hello! My name is Peter, and I am quite excited to go on another adventure with the Real World. I enjoy flying with my pal, Tink, and watching pirate movies with Wendy. I guess you could say that I’m looking forward to being around people that aren’t children for a change. As I said, I’m super duper excited. It’s time to let loose!
Snow White, Age 24, from the forest: Hi, my name is Snow. I enjoy long walks through the forest with my animal friends, but only during the day, of course. My favorite activity to do is to make dumpling stew for my men at home. Warning, I am a total neat freak—if I see any dust or cobwebs, out they go!
Prince Eric, 26, from land: My name is Eric and I am looking forward to being on this season of the show. I think I’m a pretty laid back kind of guy that is just looking to meet some cool people and build some relationships. Speaking of relationships, I am in one with my beautiful girlfriend, Ariel, who just so happens to be a mermaid; so I’m not looking to date any girls. Sorry ladies! Fins, or no, I'm committed!
Tiana, 22, New Orleans: Hay, I’m Tiana, also known as ‘that one girl who turned into a frog.’ Not a stage in my life that I am very proud of, but at least I’m versatile, okay? But seriously, there better not be any frogs in this mansion. I love to cook and wouldn’t mind stirrin’ up a little somethin’ somethin’ for the rest of the housemates—show them what Louisiana is all about. Oh, and a warning, I get along with most people, but if someone tries to pick a fight at me, I will hit a bitch.
Gaston, 28, a little town in France: Hey there. The name’s Gaston. MTV, I’m gonna tell you right out, ladies want this. I’m just saying, look at me. I’m gorgeous. Yeah, long story short, I’ve got the muscles, the looks, and the charm. No girl can resist Gaston. Most men probably can’t either.
Cinderella, 25, from a little village: My name is Cinderella. And yes, I also wonder why my parents ever named me that. I’m guessing they were either intoxicated or wanted to play a cruel joke on me. Anyways, I’m excited to be a part of this season of the Real World because I’ve always been a fan of the show. When my evil stepmother and stepsisters would go out, I would secretly watch this show instead of clean—don’t tell anyone. Actually, they told me I wasn’t allowed to be on this show; hopefully they won’t notice I’m gone.
Aladdin, 26, from Agrabah: My name is Aladdin. Let’s just say I’m not afraid to splurge a little. I mean, you might see me wearing some Armani, Christian Dior, or Valentino on occasion. When ladies realize I’ve got the green, they can’t keep their hands off of me. What? I’m not really rich? Of course I am! My Genie just helped me out a little bit . . .
Pocahontas, 24, America: My name is Pocahontas, which means “Little Mischief” in my language, but that is so false. I may go on adventures every now and then or go around a river bend, but I assure you I am a good girl. Do I have a tattoo? No. Well, yeah, just one. But everyone in my tribe has one so it doesn’t count.
This is the true story... of eight strangers... picked to live in a house...work together and have their lives taped... to find out what happens... when people stop being polite... and start getting real...The Real World: Disney.
Day 1: The Meeting
The first to arrive at the house are Snow White and Tiana, who shared a cab from the airport.
Snow White: Oh! Tiana look at this giant cottage!
Tiana: It’s called a mansion, Snow. Pretty different from your neck of the woods, huh?
Snow White: Yes, very much. Just look at all the cupboards; I can make so much dumpling soup.
Tiana: Eww. Please don’t.
Snow White: It is a little bit messy though. You get the dust pan and I’ll get the broom!
Tiana: Can you at least wait until everyone else gets here? You dusted the cab like six times. Hey, I think someone else is here . . .
Peter Pan flies through the door and lands on the ground, hands on hips.
Peter Pan: Oh my God, hello! I have arrived. Is anyone home?
Snow and Tiana walk into the room.
Snow White: Why look, it’s a dwarf!
Tiana: I think that’s a man. Hi, I’m Tiana.
Peter Pan: Oh, how delightful! Just look at that dress, is that Versace? And those shoes are to die for. God, I wish I had your cheekbones! And who are you? (He looks at Snow White)
Snow White: I’m Snow White.
Peter Pan: Umm yes doll I can see that, you’re paler than I don’t know what. Perhaps some more eye shadow will help bring some color to your face. But what is your name?
Tiana: Her name is Snow White. Who are you?
Peter Pan: I’m Peter Pan, from Never Land. And oh my geezus, the flight over here was soooo long. And the service? Sooo horrific! Like I ordered a caramel macchiato, and was it hot when I got it? As if! I said to myself ‘Never again, Peter Pan! Never again!’
Tiana: Nice tights.
Peter Pan: Aren’t they just divine? They do tend to make my butt look fat though.
Tiana: (To Snow White) Is he wearing eyeliner or is it just me?
Snow White: It does look like it. I should bring some for my men at home!
Tiana: Trust me, I don’t think you want to do that. (To Peter) Well, me and Snow were just looking around. Care to join us?
Peter Pan: Oh, yes. Let’s go claim our beds! I call topsies!
Snow White: Peter, don’t be silly. Of course all of the beds have our names carved on them.
Peter flies upstairs to check.
Tiana: Show off.
A loud thud echoes in the hallway.
Tiana: What in the world was that? I hope there’s not two of them.
Aladdin appears around the corner floating on his magic carpet.
Tiana: This isn’t fair.
Snow White: Excuse me, may I sweep your carpet? Look how dusty it is. It’s making a mess!
Aladdin: That won’t be necessary miss. (He whistles). And who might this little tiger be?
Tiana: (Laughs) Don’t waste your time, it’s never going to happen.
Aladdin: Oh a feisty tiger? Did you know I have a Genie.
Tiana: I don’t want to know what you call it, perv. It’s not happening! Eww.
Tiana stomps out the room.
Aladdin: She’ll come around.
Snow White: Well I’m Snow White.
Aladdin: That’s nice. Where’s everyone else?
Snow White: There’s only four of us so far. Peter is upstairs looking for his name on the beds.
Aladdin: Names on the beds, what are we in daycare? Back where I’m from I have 5 beds. You know, cause I’m rich. Just in case you couldn’t tell already.
Aladdin leaps off his carpet and runs up the stairs.
Snow White: Well carpet, as long as your owner isn’t around, I have the right to wash you!
Snow White reaches for the carpet but it escapes her grasp.
Snow White: I’ll get you!
Meanwhile, in the front yard . . .
Cinderella: Oh it’s not that heavy, Godmother. Lift!
Godmother: Cinderella, you packed way too many shoes.
Cinderella: I know, but what if I lose one? Always take precaution.
A hand takes the suitcase from the Godmother.
Gaston: Please, allow me.
Cinderella: Oh, a man! Are you a prince?
Gaston: For you baby, I could be.
Godmother: Oh, God....
Cinderella: So, you are a prince! How lovely!
Gaston: So is this how you dress when you go onto television shows? In rags?
Cinderella: Umm, yes? I only wear dresses when I go to balls.
Gaston: That can be arranged.
Cinderella: Oh, he really is a prince!
Godmother: Sometimes I wonder about you, girl.
The three enter the house.
Gaston: Not bad, not bad at all. I hope there’s a Jacuzzi.
Cinderella: Look a fireplace! I think I’m going to like it here!
Prince Eric and Pocahontas walk in through the side door.
Eric: And that’s why you shouldn't eat seafood. Trust me, it’s just not right.
Pocahontas: I guess that makes sense. Have you tried corn? That stuff is fabulous.
Cinderella: Oh, hello. I’m Cinderella. Are you here for the Real World show?
Eric: Yes, we are. I’m Prince Eric. And this is Pocahontas. We met each other trying to find our way here.
Cinderella: Did you say Prince?
Next time on the Real World: Disney— Things get hot in the mansion as feelings grow, temperatures rise, and secrets surface. Walt Disney never saw this coming . . .
Creative Writing Columnist, Caroline Lewis: